Friday, July 30, 2010

Parenting Through God Part ll by Detra Allen


So one day, early in the morning, LaRoe asked if I would take him to the pool. I promised him “Yes”. He was thrilled and went on about his day!! He came back a few minutes later and asked when,  but because I was overwhelmed with billing I couldn’t give him an exact time. So I just told him “Later.” Although anxious and anticipating the big splash from his cannon ball he was still ok with my response. Later came and went, and the sun was starting to set as he asked if I was sure I was going to take him. I responded and said “Yes, don’t you believe me?” Disappointment started to kick in and I could see that he was starting to doubt me. He went back outside for awhile and I was thinking at last he has found something else to do besides keep asking me about the pool. But to my surprise, the entire time he was outside, he was knocking on every last friend of his door to see if one of their parents would take them to the pool. Not only was he unsuccessful but he was also hot, sweaty and exhausted as well.

I then became disappointed and little embarrassed that my son was depending on someone else to do what I had promised I would do for him. What were those parents thinking about me? Did they think I didn’t care about him and that I wasn’t the good mom that he and everybody else says that I am? I’m always talking about how much I love my children but I couldn’t even take him the pool. My response was “Didn’t I say, “I” was going to take you?” He said “yea but I won’t to go now”.

I obliged because I had promised him I would. There was only two hours left before the pool closed and I knew it would take him an hour to get dressed, so I told him to get ready. By then I would done taking care of business. As parents we provide food, shelter, and clothing but kids don’t see and appreciate those things even though that’s all they need to survive. But anyway, he was not prepared at all. He couldn’t find his goggles, trunks, towel, or swimming shoes. And for everything he couldn’t find not only did he ask me where they were, he asked me to get them for him too. I did not!! I explained to him that not only was he old enough and responsible enough to get them on his own but I needed him to it his self so that I could help his sister get dressed who had also pooped, so she needed me NOW. 


Finally he was dressed and ready to go.

On the way to the pool, I asked him where his goggles were and he told me that he left them outside the other day and when he went back to get them they were gone. He had the nerve to ask me if I would buy him another pair. I asked him “why would I when you didn’t even take care of the ones I gave you.” But because I love him so much I let him use mine anyway. 

We get to the pool and because he was mad at me, he wasn’t being nice to any of the other kids. He complained and wouldn’t share MY goggles with any of the kids. I was furious!!! After 15 minutes of being in the pool, being told repeatedly to obey, and discontinue his unkindly actions; it was time to go. He didn’t deserve to be at the pool and it dawned on me that he didn’t even say thank you. He had to come home take his shower and sit in his room until I felt he was he ready to come out. 

After being in his room for hours, he told me that he had learned his lesson, was tired of being punished, and apologized so remorsefully for the way he behaved and agreed to listen to me from then on and asked if I would please give him another chance at going to the pool. I lovingly accepted his apology, and let him  off of punishment, but did not respond to the pool comment. He knew that my silence meant no. He was a little disappointed but not surprised.

Later that day he cleaned up his room so well you would have thought the president was coming, and even had all his swim gear nicely packed in his summer bag. I would look outside in the days to follow to find him, being kind to others, sharing, and doing the right things. And it was so genuine. He wasn’t looking for anything in return. He just wanted to make me proud and show his appreciation for everything I had already done. He had given up all hope of ever going to the pool again and that was fine. He was just happy that at least he wasn’t on punishment or on my good side. And that’s when, when I saw him loving for me, sharing with others, respecting and obeying my rules, working hard to take care of his home and his belongings, giving his money to homeless and other random acts of kindness, basically, just caring about others more than he cared about himself. That’s when I decided to take him to the pool. He had given up all hope of ever going to the pool again but he didn’t given give up on me. He could have chosen to go another route and still be upset about not going to the pool and could have taken his anger out on others but he didn’t.

 

I use this example to show how in the beginning we trust that God is going to fulfill all the promises he made to us. While waiting we grow impatient and start to doubt God. We then turn to other people and other resources to fulfill our needs, only to be disappointed and drained mentally and physically. All the while we’re forgetting that our God is a jealous God. Imagine how that makes him feel. You were once a believer and praised HIM. Now those same people you went to when you thought God wasn’t there are now questioning your faith and theirs as well. “God is always saying how he loves his children, why is he taking her through this?” But we fail to see how God takes care of our basic needs and we should be thankful for that. There’s someone out there less fortunate than you that may need God’s attention a little more than you do right now. 

But finally God gives us what we ask for but we aren’t even ready because instead of trusting, working hard and preparing for our blessing, we keep trying to find other ways to get the “yes, right now” and can’t accept the “no, not yet”. If we’re asking God for a job, we need to be filling out applications, polishing our interview skills, and getting our wardrobe together. Waiting with expectancy!! But because we aren’t prepared we can’t even enjoy it. This could be the day! Are you ready? And instead of thanking God for our new home we’ve been asking for, we’re still complaining because we didn’t get the house with the two door garage. Therefore, taking our anger out on others and not even sharing that home which is really God’s house in the first place with others in need when the time presents itself . Or maybe 15 months after you get into your new house, you choose a vacation over paying your house note, and neglect to invest in the maintenance or upkeep of your home. Until, at last it is taken from you just as fast as you got it. From that point forward everything seems to be going wrong and you have nothing then but to feel like God is punishing you. Sometimes God has to put us where we don’t want us to be in order to get us where he needs us to be. 

Eventually, you can’t take it anymore. You repent and ask God for his forgiveness and another chance and His silence feels like a “no”. But you don’t care. He forgave you and gave you another chance at life, hence the fact you are alive and reading this post. We all have a second chance, for many it’s another chance, it’s time for us to start loving him, sharing with others, respecting and obeying his commandments, working hard to take care of the things he’s blessed us with (Good Steward), tithing and other random acts of kindness, basically, just caring about others more than we care about ourselves and not expecting anything in return. Doing good deeds to make him proud and show our appreciation for what he has already done. That is when God takes us to where we want to go. You may have given up on your dream but don’t give up on God. 

To understand more about God’s promises visit this page http://www.joelosteen.com/HopeForToday/ThoughtsOn/Finances/ClaimyourInheritance/Pages/ClaimyourInheritance.aspx

My prayer is that God used me as a vessel to bless someone else tonight as this note as truly giving me more understanding!!!

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